


Objects in the Night Sky

by jeeno2



Series: Rebelcaptain Stories [9]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9327890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeeno2/pseuds/jeeno2
Summary: Or: five times Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso didn't kiss and one time they did.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to the following tumblr prompt from anidlebrain: "We talk in the dark as we fall asleep, and we are objects in the night sky outside of time. (it is the exact opposite of alone.)"
> 
> This story will have a rather filthy chapter in the middle, hence the rating. The first chapter, however, is solidly T.

The first thing Jyn notices when she comes to is a rhythmic, mechanical beeping sound coming from somewhere a few feet behind her head.

With great difficulty – her eyelids, her entire body feel as though they’re weighted down with heavy, molten lead – she slowly blinks open her eyes.

She’s in a small room.  The ceiling above her bed is lined with rows of fluorescent bulbs which cast an overly-bright, sickly glow over everything, including the very expensive-looking medical equipment all around her.

She registers, dimly, that her arms and legs are wrapped up very tightly in the white bandages the Rebellion uses to treat serious burns.

She tries to turn her head, to take in more of these strange new surroundings and to piece together where, exactly, she is.  But she finds right away that turning her head is impossible.  The moment she tries to move she becomes aware of a thick, translucent tube running from her throat, out of her mouth, and tethering her to a machine just off to her left.  The arrangement effectively traps her in the exact position she woke up in a few moments ago. 

With difficulty, Jyn lifts her right hand and runs it along the part of the tube protruding from her mouth. Is this the Rebellion’s medical equipment?  Is she with the Rebellion now?  Either way, she guesses from the location of the tubing and the _whooshing_ sounds coming from the machine that this equipment is helping her to breathe.

Suddenly, there’s a flurry of noise coming from just beyond her field of vision.  Some rustling papers, and then chair legs scraping loudly against the grey tiled floor.

“Jyn?” Cassian’s anxious voice.  “Are you awake?”

She tries to answer him but the tube in her throat prevents it.  With difficulty, she gives a feeble thumbs-up to let him know that, yes, she’s awake.

At that, Cassian laughs.  Something she’s quite certain she’s never heard him do before.

More scraping sounds as the chair is pushed back further, and then a moment later Cassian appears.  He stands very close to her bed, practically hovering over her.

He looks terrible.  Though she supposes she’s probably one to talk.  There’s a large bandage covering most of the left side of his face, and dark circles ring both of his eyes. 

But he’s smiling at her all the same.  Another first for Cassian, at least insofar as she’s concerned.

He covers her hand that’s closest to him with his and gives it a gentle squeeze.

At his touch, a flood of memories come rushing back to her. 

Scarif.  The plans to the Death Star.

Krennic, about to shoot her in the head.

And then, a bit later, an impulsive, passionate kiss born out of terror and desperation.  And then later still, the two of them, clutching at one another on the beach as they waited for death to take them.

She blinks at Cassian as he continues to gaze down at her.  She’s in far too much pain right now to be dead, she decides.  Against all odds, they must have been rescued from that beach just before it was too late.

“I’ll go tell the medics you’re awake,” Cassian says, his voice hoarse.  But he makes no move to leave.  He slowly runs the pad of his thumb back and forth along the back of her hand.

The touch of his warm hand and the feel of his calloused thumb brushing softly against her skin is so comforting, so soothing, it lulls her back to sleep in seconds.

* * *

 

The next time Jyn wakes up the tube in her throat is gone.

So is Cassian. 

A young medic in a plain white smock stands next to her bed instead, her back to her, making notes on a chart Jyn cannot see.

“Hey,” Jyn says, and then winces in pain.  Her throat feels like it’s been set on fire. 

She wonders how long that tube was in there.

Fortunately, that one word is enough to get the medic’s attention.  She turns to face Jyn, brown eyes bright and smiling.

“You had quite a scare,” she says, not unkindly.  She looks back down at her chart.  “To put it mildly.  You were out nearly two full weeks.”

Jyn’s eyes widen in surprise.  _Two weeks?_  

“What…” she begins, before trailing off, in too much discomfort to continue. 

_What happened?_

Jyn closes her eyes and grits her teeth against the rawness in her throat.  She covers her neck with her hands and looks back at the medic, hoping she’ll understand what she’s trying to ask.

Fortunately, she does.

“You’re very lucky to be alive,” the medic begins.

Jyn was right when she assumed they’d been rescued moments before it was too late.  By the time Bodhi got to them their clothes were already beginning to melt off their bodies.

“Bodhi’s ok?” Jyn manages hoarsely.

The medic nods.  Jyn slumps against the pillows in relief. 

“Rook’s in pretty bad shape,” the medic says. “You all are.  But yes, he survived.  So did the rest of your crew.”  She laughs a little, shaking her head.  “Even that irritating droid Captain Andor let visit him while he was still recuperating.”

Jyn frowns.  “Cassian.  He’s…”

“He’s alive too,” the medic finishes. “Though you already know that.  He was burned pretty badly, too.  Though nowhere near as badly as you.”  She checks her chart again, flipping through the pages.  “Captain Andor was kept in a medically-induced coma for a few days after you were rescued from Scarif to speed his recovery.  But he’s been cleared to return to active duty effective tomorrow morning.”

Jyn’s eyes widen.  A return to active duty. _That means_ …

“You, on the other hand.”  The medic closes her notebook and shakes her head.  “We can’t force you to stay here, obviously, since you’ve never formally enlisted with the Rebellion.  But you’re still very unwell.  Before you were rescued, you suffered third degree burns over a good portion of your arms, legs, and stomach.”

From the pain she’s in, Jyn’s not surprised her injuries are so severe.  She supposes she ought to feel some sort of gratitude that she’s still alive.  All she feels right now, though, is a nearly overpowering exhaustion.

“Given your brave service to our cause, the Rebellion will allow you to stay here as long as you need in order to make a full recovery.”  The medic pauses before continuing.  “Bed space here is at a premium right now, and it’s most generous of the Rebellion to make you this offer.  Given your physical state, I highly encourage you to take it.” 

With that, the medic gives Jyn another kindly smile, and moves to readjust her blankets.

“Do you think you’re be up for a visitor?” she asks, abruptly changing the subject with an odd, calm neutrality.  She continues to fidget with the bedsheets as she waits for Jyn to answer.

“Visitor?” Jyn mouths in confusion.

The medic stops what she’s doing and looks at her.  “Captain Andor leaves in two hours,” she says quietly.  “He’s loitering outside the door to this room like a little lost puppy.”  She gives her a sad smile.  “Given how much he was in here while you were still unconscious, I suspect he wants to say goodbye before he goes.”

Jyn closes her eyes, her stomach sinking.

She'd told him, once, that she wasn’t used to people sticking around when things got bad.  But now that he _is_ leaving – now that he wants to say goodbye – she isn’t sure she can do it.

Saying goodbye is not something Jyn’s ever been good at. In truth, she’s never had much need to be good at it.  People usually just leave.  But how can she let him go without seeing him again?  After everything that's happened, both to them and between them? 

“Send him in,” Jyn whispers, her heart in her throat.

The medic nods and walks towards the door where Cassian, apparently, stands waiting to see her one last time.

* * *

 

Cassian sits next to her in the straight-backed chair by her hospital bed for over an hour, just holding her hand. 

They don’t speak.  Partly because Jyn can’t really talk, but mostly because there really isn’t anything to say.  She knows he won't stay, even if she asked him to. And she's not the sort who would ask in the first place.  As the minutes tick by, the only noise in the room comes from the machines that helped keep Jyn alive the past two weeks and the constant _whir-hum_ of the air compressor in the ceiling. 

His right hand is entwined with her left one, his thumb drawing lazy circles on the back of it in much the same way it did earlier this morning.  She watches as the tendons in his wrist move with the motions of his hand, transfixed by the push and pull of the muscles beneath his skin.

“I leave in an hour,” he tells her eventually, breaking their silence.  His words are so quiet Jyn can hardly hear them over the room's white noise.  

Even if her throat weren’t still in agony she wouldn’t know what to say in response to this simple statement.  

So she simply squeezes the hand holding hers and looks into his eyes.  She traces the jagged scar on his index finger – the one he got back in Jedha, during that horrible mission that went sideways so fast -- with as much tenderness as she can manage.  And she wills him, with everything she has, to understand what she doesn’t have the words to say.

He seems to.  His eyes grow brighter, somehow, and the corners of his mouth twitch up a little in a half smile.

He squeezes her hand back.

They continue to sit together in silence, holding hands and just looking at each other, until his comm goes off fifteen minutes later, letting him know it’s time to go.

He shuts it off with his free hand.  He gives her one last, lingering look before pushing back from his chair and standing up.

He gently lets go of her hand.  And he gives her one more half-smile before turning to leave, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

"I won't forget," he says.  He doesn't elaborate, but he doesn't need to.

She nods, letting him know she won't forget, either.

He walks out the door with big purposeful strides, neither one of them saying goodbye.


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh, _no_ ,” K-2 says, sounding horrified.

Cassian frowns across the table at his old friend. “What is it?” he asks, stabbing at another bite of dinner with his fork.  It’s supposed to be some sort of mashed potato thing, he thinks.  But it tastes more like sawdust than anything else.  Still, though.  At least it’s food. 

K-2 shakes his head.  “Don’t turn around, Cassian,” he says very quietly, his eyes narrowing into silver slits as he glares at something just beyond Cassian’s left shoulder.  “Just keep your eyes right in front of you, and keep eating like nothing has changed and everything is perfectly all right.”

Cassian’s eyes go wide and his hand freezes in mid-air, his forkful of mashed whatever-it-is halfway to his mouth.  These are not the sorts of things Kay says to him when everything actually _is_ , in fact, perfectly all right. 

“What is it?” Cassian asks again in a low voice.  His hand has already found its way to the blaster in his holster, and his eyes dart around the room as he ignores K-2’s instructions to stay calm and keep eating. “What’s wrong?”

K-2 does not have the ability to sigh.  Cassian never included it in his programming.  But he does his best approximation, a noise that always sounds a bit like an old, rattling air purifier on its last legs.  “Everything,” he says, melodramatic in a way only K-2 can be.  “Everything’s wrong.”

Cassian stands up, scanning the mess hall for signs of an Imperial breach.  But he sees nothing out of the ordinary.  Tired Rebellion soldiers sit clustered together at crowded tables, eating and talking over the day’s events.  A few stragglers are just now coming in from patrol; they shuck off their heavy winter gloves as they hurry to get in line for whatever’s left of the food.

“Kay,” Cassian says very slowly, still looking around.  “I don’t see anything.  What in the Force are you –“

And then, finally, he sees her.    

Her back is to him.  She’s sitting at a table halfway across the room with a lot of other people, all of them dressed exactly alike in the fatigues issued to every newly-enlisted Rebellion sergeant.

Cassian can’t see her face.  But it’s undoubtedly Jyn.  He can tell by the gentle curve of her neck, the way she holds herself as she sits with the other soldiers, and the formidable, overwhelming presence she commands in every setting he has ever seen her in.

K-2 obviously noticed her as well.  And clearly, he hadn’t wanted him to know she was here. 

Cassian sits back down on the bench, shocked past the point of speech, all the breath leaving his body in a single rush.

When he left Jyn in that med bay on Yavin IV he thought he’d never see her again.  And now here she is.  Not just _here_ but, if what she’s wearing right now is any indication, an enlisted Rebellion soldier as well.

K-2 _tsks_ at him.  “I told you not to turn around, Cassian,” K-2 lectures.  He picks at the food still left on Cassian’s tray with a metal finger, though of course he has no intention of eating any of it.  “And now everything is going to go straight to hell.”

Cassian turns to look at him.  “What do you mean?”

K-2 shakes his head.  “You’re an idiot, Cassian,” is all he says.  He pushes the tray towards Cassian and gives it a nod.  “Finish your dinner before you run off and ruin everything, will you?  You’ll need your strength.”

Cassian glowers at him.  “Very funny,” he grumbles. 

In spite of K-2’s admonitions, Cassian spends the next twenty minutes pushing the rest of his food around his plate. 

His stomach is too tied up in knots to eat another bite.

* * *

 

After his nightly debriefing session with Mon Mothma is finally over, it doesn’t take long for Cassian to find Jyn’s quarters.

Most new sergeants bunk four to a room.  But Jyn, he learns from central command, has been given a small room all to herself.  Unusual, but it’s not exactly unheard of.  He guesses it’s an additional, much-deserved reward for everything she did for the Rebellion before officially enlisting.

Officially enlisting.  He still can’t believe it.  Until today, he figured she probably caught the first charter out of this system the minute she recovered her strength.  With the reward the Rebellion gave them she certainly had enough credits to go wherever she wanted.

Apparently – and for reasons he cannot begin to understand – she ended up at Echo Base instead.

Cassian wanders the residence halls until he gets to the room marked 426B.  Jyn’s room.  He hesitates a moment as he works up the nerve to knock on her door.

What the hell is he going to say to her? 

What _is_ there to say?

He doesn’t know the answers to either of these questions.  All he knows is his heart has been thumping wildly in his chest ever since he saw her in the mess hall.  He doesn’t know why he feels this way, and he refuses to let himself think on it too deeply.  All he knows is that now that she’s here, he has to see her again.

Cassian curls his hand into a fist and lifts it, preparing to knock.  “Here goes nothing,” he mutters under his breath.

But she beats him to it.  A half-second before his hand would have made contact with her door it swings open, revealing Jyn standing on the other side.

The last time Cassian saw her was six months ago, just before he shipped off to his first post-Scarif mission.  When he left her, she looked half dead, and had needed special tubes and machines to breathe, to eat – to do anything at all.  He’d hated leaving her in that state.  In truth, he’d hated leaving her at all, though that wasn’t something he was willing to admit to himself at the time. 

But it’s not like he’d had a choice in the matter.  He was mostly recovered from his injuries and the Rebellion needed him elsewhere.  He’d had no choice but to go.

Cassian continues to stand on the other side of Jyn’s threshold, just looking at her.  She looks good, he realizes, much to his relief.  She’s wearing long pants and long sleeves, so Cassian can’t tell if any of the extensive scarring the medics were concerned about actually came to pass.  But her eyes are clear and bright, and her face, at least, seems to have escaped the worst of what could have happened in that horrible blast.

As always, she jumps first, breaking the silence.  “Cassian,” she says.  She sounds at least as surprised to see him standing outside her door as he was to see her in the mess hall.  Her voice sounds clear and strong, which is another relief.  Cassian knows all too well the tracheal damage that can be caused when breathing tubes are left in too long.  “It’s you.”

Cassian nods.  He tries to smile but he’s too tightly-wound to manage it.  “Yeah,” he agrees.  “It’s me.”

She opens the door a bit wider.  “Um.  Come in,” she says, awkwardly gesturing for him to enter.

He follows her inside, feeling light-headed and like a bit of an intruder as he takes in her few simple possessions neatly lining the shelves on the wall. 

Jyn sits down on her bunk, and they go back to silently staring at each other.  He can feel her eyes on him, taking him in.  He wonders if she can see the blush he knows must be rising on his cheeks under her scrutiny.

At length, she clears her throat.  “What are you doing here?”

Cassian blinks, surprised.  He wasn’t expecting that.  “I might ask you the same thing.”  He takes a step towards her, towards her bed, and then stops, thinking better of it. 

Jyn doesn’t say anything by way of response.  She only shrugs.

“You stayed on,” Cassian continues.  “You enlisted.”  And then he cringes inwardly, because it’s a stupid, obvious thing to say.  Of course she enlisted.  She wouldn’t _be_ here if she hadn’t enlisted.  But it’s too late to take the words back now. 

She shrugs again.  “Yeah. I guess I did,” she says.

“But why?” he asks.  “I didn’t… I didn’t think…”

Jyn closes her eyes and lets out a long, audible breath.  “It’s hard to explain,” she says.

Cassian takes another small step towards her.  “Try me.”

She opens her eyes at that, but keeps them trained on the floor.  “Well… I suppose part of it was I didn’t really have anywhere else to go,” she admits.  “The rest of it… um.”  She looks at him, then, levelling him with her even gaze.  “I guess signing up just felt like the right thing to do.”

Cassian nods.  That, he can understand.  He decides to let the matter drop, knowing the slightest bit of pressure, or wrong word, from him – from anyone – could cause her to run.  “I’m glad you enlisted,” he says.  He tries to keep his tone even and light, and deliberately does not add _I’m glad you’re here_ , though it’s just as true.  “You have a lot to offer the cause.”

Jyn raises an eyebrow at him.  “We’ll see,” she says.  “For now, I’m just glad to feel useful again.  I was in that hospital bed for two months.”

Cassian’s eyes go wide.  “Two months?” When he’d left, it had only been two weeks.  “I’m sorry.”

Jyn sniffs.  “Yeah, well.  It’s over.  And I’m fine now.”  She pauses.  “Well.  Mostly fine.”  She looks away again.  “And now here I am.”

Cassian has a million questions for her.  He wants to know what infantry she’s been assigned to.  He wants to know how long she’s been here at Echo Base, and whether she plans to stay until the fight is done or just until the wind changes. 

But he knows he’s pried enough for now, and there will be time for all of that later.

“Sit with me a while?” she asks, surprising him.  She brings her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them, making herself look so vulnerable Cassian’s heart aches.  “I… missed you.”

Rebellion officers and enlisted personnel are not supposed to fraternize.  It’s one of the first things he was taught when he was promoted to Captain.  In the moment, however, Cassian cannot be bothered to give one single damn about protocol.  He sits down next to Jyn on her bed and slowly, tentatively wraps an arm around her. 

The feel of her, so real and solid beneath his arm, is so sweet and unexpected, and brings on a wave of déjà vu so strong, Cassian finds he has to brace himself against the wall with his free hand to keep from toppling over.

“Of course, Jyn,” he says, his voice catching a little on her name.  “Of course.”

She rests her head on his shoulder, and then turns her face towards him.

“Thanks,” she mumbles quietly against his skin.

He swallows thickly, and closes his eyes.  “Of course.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the very, very remote chance anyone still remembers this fic, I haven't abandoned it. This chapter was originally posted nearly a year ago, and then taken down shortly thereafter because I felt it needed a lot of revamping. Here's the version I'm finally happy with. On the even more remote chance you remember seeing this chapter before, apologies for the bit of spam in your inboxes.
> 
> I hope to be able to finally complete this story over the next few months. <3

Cassian grits his teeth as he gingerly lowers himself into the steaming bath Kay drew for him.

Under normal circumstances a warm bath is a luxury.  But right now Cassian does not welcome it.  Just the opposite. He was so cold for so long today the water’s heat is almost unbearable, stinging and biting at his chapped skin.

He’d been outside, exposed to the elements, for more than ten hours before Bodhi and K-2 found him in that cave north of here.  By the time they got him back to Echo Base his body was so cold icicles were forming inside his beard.

The medics wouldn’t allow Cassian to do anything else until he promised to spend the rest of the night in a tub full of water as hot as he could stand.

As much as Cassian hates the idea of soaking in a hot bath all night while there’s still so much to be done, he’d grudgingly agreed to do as she’d instructed. The med bay knows better than anyone here how to keep a person alive after nearly freezing to death.  Besides – as reluctant as Cassian had been to agree to this, he knows his dying is the last thing anybody needs right now.

Wincing against the pain in his side, Cassian leans forward to grab the damp cloth Kay draped over the opposite side of the tub before leaving. 

But even that small movement is too much for him.  As soon as he inches towards the cloth Cassian can feel the fresh stitches in his side pulling taut against his raw flesh.  He shuts his eyes against the pain and groans, easing himself gently back against the tub’s edge.

He knows he’s damn lucky to be alive.  He reminds himself to focus on that as he struggles to tamp down his frustration over everything else.

But he also needs to find Jyn.  Soon.  She wasn’t there when they brought him back to base.  He needs to let her know he’s all right.  That he’s alive.

Especially given how he left things this morning.

No sooner does he think it than Jyn, as if on cue, materializes inside the doorway to his small room.  She stares at him, eyes so wide it’s like she can’t believe she’s really seeing him, in the flesh, and not a ghost.  Her jaw is clenched – from nerves, or worry, or anger; or maybe some combination of the three – and her lips are pressed together tightly in a thin line.

Someone must have found her and told her he was back. And then she must have come to him immediately, straight from her quarters, because it’s nearly midnight and she’s wearing a thin cotton nightdress and nothing else.  It only goes down to her mid-thigh, and despite the fact that Cassian nearly died on his stupid mission today his eyes still linger just a beat too long on her beautiful, bare legs.

 _Kriff,_  he is pathetic.

After what feels like an embarrassingly long time Cassian finally manages to tear his eyes away from her body.  He glances down at his hands, slowly turning into prunes in the water, and opens his mouth to say something.  But then he closes it again when he realizes he has no idea what to say.  Or what she even wants to hear from him.

To his relief, Jyn jumps first.  Just like she always does.  “You’re back,” she says simply.  Her words are so quiet he almost can’t hear them over the whir of the refresher’s ventilation system.

He nods. This, at least, is something he knows how to answer. “Yeah,” he says. “I am.”

The right corner of her mouth quirks up into a half smile.  Cassian decides that’s probably a good sign.  Or, that at least it’s a sign she hasn’t just come here to kill him herself.

“Can I…” she begins, but then trails off.  Her eyes dart to the far corner of the room.  A faint blush starts to rise on her cheeks, and she fidgets with the hem of her nightdress.  “Can I… um.  Come in?”

Cassian’s stomach does an odd, but not entirely unpleasant sort of flip at her question.  His eyes go wide in surprise.

“You want to come in?  Here?”  His voice is much squeakier than it usually is.  He can’t help but cringe at the sound of it.

It isn’t that Cassian’s never seen in him in various states of undress before.  It’s just that usually, they’re changing between missions and everything is hurried and fraught. And Jyn has certainly never seen him like  _this_  before: half-frozen, filthy and exhausted, soaking in a bathtub wearing nothing but thin cotton underpants.  Cassian is almost completely exposed to her right now, totally vulnerable – and legitimately terrified for the first time all day.

If Jyn is half as surprised by her proposal as Cassian is she doesn’t show it.  She only shrugs, though she still won’t look at him.  “Yeah.  I thought I could… I don’t know.”  She goes back to fidgeting with her nightdress.  “I thought I could maybe… help you. Or something.”

Cassian blinks at her.  “You want to help me?” he asks.  “How?”

She sniffs and looks a little offended.  She still won’t meet his eyes.  “They told me you were hurt,” she says, by way of explanation.  “And I can smell you from here.  Didn’t they clean you up when they brought you in?”

Cassian looks down at his legs.  They’re completely submerged in the warm water but they’re still covered with thick splatters of dried blood.  And not just his.  “Pretty sure their only goals were to get my body temperature up and my wounds sutured.”  He chances a glance at her.  “They wanted me in hot water the rest of the night and probably figured I could take care of the cleanup myself.”

She takes a tentative step into the room.  And then another.  There’s less than three feet of space now between where he sits and she stands.  His eyes widen again.   

At last, she looks at him.  “Can you, though?  Take care of the cleanup yourself, that is?”

Cassian looks towards the damp cloth at the other end of the tub. He closes his eyes and sighs resignedly.  “Um.  Probably not all of it, no.”

That’s all the encouragement Jyn needs.  She closes the short distance between them in two strides and kneels beside his tub.  She grabs the washcloth with ease and dips it into the warm water.  “Then let me help you.”

She brings the cloth to his bare legs, but he lets out an involuntary yelp before it reaches him.  She freezes, hand suspended in midair less than an inch from his body.  “You don’t need to do this, Jyn,” he says, his words tumbling over each other in a rush.  He knows he probably sounds like he’s panicking, but in the moment he  _is_ panicking, and he’s doing far too much of it to care what he sounds like.  “I’m sure Bodhi or Kay will be back any minute now.  One… um, one of them can help me.”

Jyn sits back on her haunches and regards him carefully, one eyebrow raised.  The way she’s sitting causes her nightdress to inch up dangerously, and Cassian has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep his eyes on her face where they belong.  “They’re in a debriefing with Draven. It’ll last hours,” she says.  “There’s no one here to do it but me.” Apparently deciding the matter settled, Jyn dips the cloth into the hot water again and wrings it out.  “And besides.  I’m better at this sort of thing than they are.”

Despite the knots of nervous tension roiling in his stomach Cassian can’t help but chuckle at that.  “Oh?  Is that so?”

“Mmm,” she confirms.  Cassian suspects she’s trying to look, and sound, haughty.  But she’s smiling in spite of herself.  “I’m definitely better at this than they are.”

Without another word, Jyn presses the warm cloth in her hand to one of Cassian’s legs and begins to gently scrub away the visible remnants of this horrible day.

Cassian has, of course, washed his own body many thousands of times before.  Until now he’s always thought of bathing as a perfunctory chore; a thing that must be done before he can get on with more important things.  Never in his life has he thought of bathing as something pleasurable – but right now, as Jyn gently scrubs his legs clean with the soft washcloth and runs the palms of her small, calloused hands over his highly sensitized skin, he has to dig his fingernails into his palms to keep from groaning aloud.

She is thorough and methodical with him, and yet gentle, leaving no part of his legs untouched.  As her palms brush over the skin behind his knees with the washcloth it feels like every single nerve ending in his body is centered beneath her fingertips.

“Don’t ever do that again,” she says quietly, but no less forcefully for that as she slides the warm cloth up, skipping over his torso completely and finding his forearm.

She doesn’t clarify what she’s talking about.  But there’s no need.  He closes his eyes as she works and moves over him, the dual conflicting sensations of physical pleasure and guilt over his earlier actions tangling together unpleasantly in his gut.

“Jyn…” he begins, weakly.

“Just… don’t,” she says again.  More sharply this time. “All right?”

He’d left Echo Base this morning like a coward, not even bothering to find her to tell her he was going on this dangerous mission.  Not even bothering to say goodbye, even though he knew there was a chance he would never come back.

Doing this sort of thing – leaving before anyone who might care he was leaving woke up and discovered him gone – was a common enough thing for him to do before Rogue One and Scarif happened and everything changed.

But everything is different now, somehow, with Jyn here, though they’ve never discussed it.  The way he acted this morning was a strange, new kind of betrayal, and he knows that.  It terrifies him, if he’s being honest, the way Jyn’s somehow wormed her way into his life, into his heart, without either of them ever planning on it happening.  She’s gotten by every one of his defenses just by being herself, and he’s never been more scared of anything in his life.

It was this fear that led him to slip out of his quarters before dawn this morning, before he’d have to risk seeing her and saying goodbye.

But how can he explain any of this to her when he hardly understands it himself?

So he doesn’t try.  

“I won’t do it again,” he says instead.  Resigned to it now, though the thought of having this inexplicable connection to Jyn worries him no less now than it did this morning.  “I promise.”

Jyn’s hand pauses briefly on its journey across his clavicle, but that is the only sign she gives that she understands the significance and weight of his words. She recovers quickly, and continues to run the damp cloth over his neck, across his shoulders.  Down his back.  The water is still very warm but the press of her hand to his skin causes a trail of gooseflesh to rise up on his arms all the same.

“Good,” she says, nodding, as she continues to move.  “I promise I won’t either.”

As she pours a cup full of warm water over his head, and threads her dexterous fingers through his dust-matted hair, he decides that for now, it’s enough.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to find me on tumblr, where I post about rebelcaptain, kitties, and other things that make me happy, I'm there as jeeno2. :)


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